Family issues

forever love

There will always be conflict in family. Just remember your family loves you and wants the best for you and then try to over look their shortcomings.

11 years ago

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sunil0021

Your family loves you, take a little rest and go out ;) be happy, this will solve your stress and problems

- Sunil Bishnoi

11 years ago

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angie828

I agree that you need to just calm down and take a breather from them. Then you will be able to think a bit more calmly.

11 years ago

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Beverly

Sometimes, it can be hard for our mom and dad to see us as grown ups. They still see us as little children, because they remember us as that.

11 years ago

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LizAnne

Arguments are temporary and fleeting. Family is forever. Cherish your family and try to over look the little petty disagreements as they are irrelevant to love.

11 years ago

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twilight

Great advice that you have given LizAnne. Family is forever no matter what.

11 years ago

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Dayton

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. So, just give them some space for awhile.
Your parents may be taking for granted that you will always be there, thus the mistreatment.

11 years ago

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I guess I'm the top dog. Most family members side with me when we get into arguments. I think it is because in respected in the family and what I say means something. I don't meddle in people's business either.

11 years ago

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tionna

I guess I'm the top dog. Most family members side with me when we get into arguments. I think it is because in respected in the family and what I say means something. I don't meddle in people's business either.

Meddling in others business can often get you in trouble. I know.... I have an aunt that does this.

11 years ago

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exjordanary

When you have issues with your family does it seem that you are always the top dog and get sided with or do you feel that you are never sided with? Only reason I ask is bc I always feel like no one will side with me ever. They always side with my older siblings, or if they don't, then they wont speak up.

Some parents find it to be easier to side with the Older Siblings rather than put in the effort of having to make everything "fair" for everyone. It's just an easy way out and a shortcoming on their part.

In a perfect world, your parents would make sure that every child was treated fairly. But me being a younger sibling myself, I've come to the conclusion that sometimes our parents get caught up in their own lives and might not have the time or energy to look close enough at the situation at hand.

Sometimes they also have to think of themselves- and as cold as that sounds. In some cases, it's just the truth. They are humans with needs and faults- and as children, we sometimes develop expectations from our parents to love us, and pay attention to our feelings and to make everything right and fair.

But as we become adults, things can change into an "every man for himself" type atmosphere.

My older brother used to blame his wrongdoings on me on a daily basis and would then lie to the parents- and of course, they believed him. So I would get punished all the time for doing NOTHING wrong. Which made me extra angry so I'd throw tantrums, which would lead to more punishment- and yet confirming my parents belief even further that I was in fact "the trouble child" my older brother made me out to be.

So in school, I had zero respect for authority and would embarrass my teachers in front of the whole classroom. I started to develop some minor behavioral problems. Getting into trouble. Starting Fires in the dumpsters. Just acting out a lot. But I didn't care whether I did right, or wrong, because either way, I received the same treatment no matter what I did. Heck I don't even think I knew the difference between right & wrong.

I DO remember having a hard time deciphering between Right & Left. Funny huh? It took me years to figure out which hand was Left and which was Right. They each looked identical to me, yet society kept insisting they were opposites. Yet another reason for me not to respect the ways of the world.

When I was a 5 year old, I know my parents would have sacrificed their own needs for me.
Because they did. Several times.

But as an adult, I know that if my Mother had to lie about her own Son and "throw him under the bus" in order to save her Marriage to Mr. Money, she would.
Because she has. Several times.

Sure it's sad. But it's part of becoming an adult. The other part of adulthood is learning to be okay with yourself and your family. To forgive is one thing. But learning not to ever hold a resentment in the first place is even better.

The beautiful thing is that we all have the ability to create our own Custom families just the way we want. That is, IF we want- and I'm not too sure if I do. [quote]When you have issues with your family does it seem that you are always the top dog and get sided with or do you feel that you are never sided with? Only reason I ask is bc I always feel like no one will side with me ever. They always side with my older siblings, or if they don't, then they wont speak up.[/quote] Some parents find it to be easier to side with the Older Siblings rather than put in the effort of having to make everything "fair" for everyone. It's just an easy way out and a shortcoming on their part. In a perfect world, your parents would make sure that every child was treated fairly. But me being a younger sibling myself, I've come to the conclusion that sometimes our parents get caught up in their own lives and might not have the time or energy to look close enough at the situation at hand. Sometimes they also have to think of themselves- and as cold as that sounds. In some cases, it's just the truth. They are humans with needs and faults- and as children, we sometimes develop expectations from our parents to love us, and pay attention to our feelings and to make everything right and fair. But as we become adults, things can change into an "every man for himself" type atmosphere. My older brother used to blame his wrongdoings on me on a daily basis and would then lie to the parents- and of course, they believed him. So I would get punished all the time for doing [U]NOTHING[/U] wrong. Which made me extra angry so I'd throw tantrums, which would lead to more punishment- and yet confirming my parents belief even further that I was in fact [I]"the trouble child"[/I] my older brother made me out to be. So in school, I had zero respect for authority and would embarrass my teachers in front of the whole classroom. I started to develop some minor behavioral problems. Getting into trouble. Starting Fires in the dumpsters. Just acting out a lot. But I didn't care whether I did right, or wrong, because either way, I received the same treatment no matter what I did. Heck I don't even think I knew the difference between right & wrong. I DO remember having a hard time deciphering between Right & Left. Funny huh? It took me years to figure out which hand was Left and which was Right. They each looked identical to me, yet society kept insisting they were opposites. Yet another reason for me not to respect the ways of the world. When I was a 5 year old, I know my parents would have sacrificed their own needs for me. Because they did. Several times. But as an adult, I know that if my Mother had to lie about her own Son and "throw him under the bus" in order to save her Marriage to Mr. Money, she would. Because she has. Several times. Sure it's sad. But it's part of becoming an adult. The other part of adulthood is learning to be okay with yourself and your family. To forgive is one thing. But learning not to ever hold a resentment in the first place is even better. The beautiful thing is that we all have the ability to create our own Custom families just the way we want. That is, [I]IF[/I] we want- and I'm not too sure if I do.

11 years ago

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BlogGirl

It's probably harder to stand up to your mom and dad because of the feelings you have for them. But they must see you as an adult and realize that you have worth on your own, and not by comparison to others in your family. Tell your parents how you feel. You might say, "Mom and Dad, it really hurts when you are always comparing me with my brother. I'm good at what I do. I don't have to be him to be a success!". You don't have to be mean about what you are saying just matter of fact and to the point.

10 years ago

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Niyantha

Family is EVERYTHING! I personally had a very tough time with my family as a kid. I went through emotional trauma because of my mother who abused me physically and mentally. I had an older brother but he would only laugh at me sadistically whenever mom abused me There was nothing much my father could do about it, except telling me to be patient and to simply "forgive and forget". I did have a pretty rough time coping with this as a child, and I hated everything about my life, but I pushed through it and as I grew up, my perception changed and I started loving my family instead of hating them for treating me a certain way. This alone- loving them, has changed my parents' behaviour towards me and now I feel lucky to even have them as my parents. If you're going through this tough phase, all I can say is, trust your parents and trust your life. Changing your perception will help you go a long way. Never give up on your family, they are the reason you're here.

8 years ago

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joegirl

It might seem difficult but you have to find a way to address this with your family. For all you know, they might not even have a clue you felt this way. Moreover, what you tolerate and accept has the right to grow and multiply. It doesn't matter how long it has been going on, you can address and change the situation when you want to. No one knows exactly how it affects you except you.

7 years ago

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Corzhens

I am the youngest in the family so expect me to be the underdog all the time. But when I started working, my family realized my value because I helped in the family's finances. My generosity cannot be questioned. When my siblings and I have our own families, things have changed a lot. Now, I can say that I am the top dog all the time. They respect my words so much and I know that my influence on them (my siblings and their families) are great. Why so? That's the effect of my generosity.

7 years ago

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DenisP

Without revealing too much information to strangers on the internet, I'm an only child so these sorts of situations were tough for me. I had a father who wasn't a very tolerant or patient man, and would often snap at even the slightest sign of disrespect or rule breaking. My mother would try to take my side whenever she could, but I often would tell her to just side with my dad. The reason for this was that I didn't want them to end up arguing over something I did. It would've been nice to have siblings that could take my side, but it was it was.

7 years ago

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Barida

One thing I would like to let you know is that there is no love than the one you can get from your family. Just try and be a good member of the household and see how things are going to change for the better. Family members are one thing you can never choose for they are gifts from God.

7 years ago

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ballyhara

I've been having this kind of issues with my 2 sisters. Apparently, sometimes they use to team up, and they like to somehow attack me. We're fully grown ups, with our own lives, jobs, friends, but we still tend to keep this vicious behavior, specially on family gatherings and holidays. Honestly, I wish that I could be more tolerant, or find a proper way to deal with it, but sometimes really know how to get on my nerves, and I don't know how to stop it. So, yeah, I can feel totally related to family issues and taking sides.

7 years ago

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augusta

Well, I try not to get into any form of rancour with my family members especially with my younger ones,I believe i should be the one protecting them not fighting to the extent of seeking who will favouror not favour me,All the site It can be annoying when all the time nobody is really to hear one out,they have already concluded in their heart that one is guilty but it still good to be in peace with one another.

7 years ago

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Family issues

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forever love

sunil0021

angie828

Beverly

LizAnne

twilight

Dayton

robertman11

tionna

exjordanary

BlogGirl

Niyantha

joegirl

Corzhens

DenisP

Barida

ballyhara

augusta